Yep, you read that right. A wedding planner is writing a blog post all about NOT enjoying planning a wedding.
No, you’re not going mad (and I’m not considering a career change!), I was inspired to write about this topic after reading this very honest blog post from blogging extraordinaire and bride-to-be Victoria (AKA In The Frow) about the elements of wedding planning that she just wasn’t enjoying.
It was a refreshingly open article on a somewhat taboo subject. There’s a common misconception that every woman should love being a bride-to-be, but this certainly isn’t always the case. Wedding planning entails a LOT of work within an industry that you often don’t know much about until you get engaged. It’s big decisions, multiple communications and huge apportionments of money and, more often than not, it will occur during a time in your life where you have many other big things going on.
So here’s a few tips on what to do if you find that, actually, wedding planning isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Communication is key when it comes to so many aspects of a relationship and planning a wedding shouldn’t be any different. Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling and don’t be afraid to explain that you’re just not enjoying things like you expected you would. It might also be good to speak to a friend or family member who isn’t directly involved in your wedding plans to chat through the things that you’re struggling with.
One thing is for sure, bottling up your feelings when you’re finding something tough is never a good solution and sharing things with the people close to you can often shed some much-needed clarity when you have a task to tackle.
People can be put off hiring a wedding planner for all sorts of reasons but, if you ever hit a stage of planning where you stop enjoying the process, ask for help from a professional. They will be able to recommend the best suppliers for your wedding, save you valuable time, effort and money and put the necessary processes in place to ensure that your plans stay on track.
Different wedding planners offer different services and your chosen planner should be able to suggest the best service for you based on the stage of planning you are at (or create an entirely bespoke service based on your requirements). You can learn more about the services that I offer with Rachel Dalton Weddings here.
The average wedding takes 250-300 hours PLUS to plan. And if you work full time, the chances are you’re dedicating your evenings and weekends to those hours of planning which can easily start to take over and take it’s toll on your relationship.
Treat planning your wedding as you would any job and allow yourself some well-deserved time off from it every now and then. A date night where you don’t talk about the wedding, a weekend break where you also have a break from wedding emails or a morning commute where you don’t let yourself spend the whole journey scrolling through Pinterest for styling ideas.
As important as planning your wedding is, it’s also important to step away from it every now and then and simply enjoy being a fiancé.
If you haven’t already got a spreadsheet for everything to do with your wedding, this is your cue to go and make one! It is vital to put a process in place to stay on top of things when it comes to your suppliers, your budget and your schedule for the day. This can also be a shared document with your wedding planner which you can both contribute to and stay regularly updated with your plans.
Getting organised with this as early as possible will help keep you on track throughout the planning process and help you enjoy wedding planning much more.
In the midst of wedding planning, it’s easy to get caught up on the small things (meltdowns over linen choices, anyone?) and lose sight of the most important part of being engaged: you are getting married to the person you love.
When things seem especially tough and all you seem to be able to do is focus on the small details, take a step back and think about the bigger picture. Regain perspective, remind your partner how much you love them and know that if, at the end of your wedding day, you are married to the person you love, you have had the best wedding day possible.
So there you have it! I hope this reassures you that if you are finding wedding planning difficult, you definitely aren’t alone.
To chat through the elements of wedding planning that you are struggling with and discuss how hiring a wedding planner might help you out, visit the Rachel Dalton Weddings website or get in touch here.